Hope, Uncategorized

The voice in my valley- Part 1

My husband was placed on deputation to the USA, and we had to return to India for a brief while. People in the IT industry might understand this process better—it’s a common norm for Indian IT consultants. We packed all our belongings, including our newly purchased car, and put everything into storage, anticipating our return after the visit.

The three of us boarded the flight with excitement and anticipation. After two and a half years, we were finally going to see our family and relatives again. While we were in India, we visited familiar places in our hometown and had numerous get-togethers with loved ones. It was joyful, comforting, and filled with laughter. I felt truly blessed.

During that time, we were invited to attend a wedding—an 8-hour road journey away. The night before the travel, I had an unpleasant dream that left me disturbed. As I packed our suitcases, I told my mom that I didn’t feel right about going. She gently suggested I cancel the trip. But I didn’t want to disappoint my husband—he comes from a large, close-knit family and was looking forward to meeting everyone. They were excited to see us, and I didn’t want to let anyone down.

As I continued expressing my unease, a crow suddenly fell from the sky near our side door. It looked injured and was dying. I didn’t know how to help. Soon after, our house helper came rushing to assist. As I watched, I noticed a tree nearby—one that was always lush and fruitful—now completely dried up. It had been green just the day before. Something didn’t feel right deep within me. Despite that, we boarded the sleeper bus and reached my husband’s hometown safely after the overnight journey.

We rested for a day at my in-laws’ house. The next day, we traveled another four hours by car to the wedding venue, bringing my in-laws along. The entire hotel was buzzing with celebration. The rooms were filled with my husband’s relatives—so many happy faces, dressed in silks, adorned with gold jewelry and jasmine flowers. There was laughter, dancing, and endless food.

My husband was filled with joy. It was his cousin’s wedding—someone he had grown up with. Their bond was deep, and the celebration reflected that closeness. Yet, amidst the festivity, I couldn’t find my husband for a few hours. He was busy moving from one place to another. My in-laws were also occupied in conversations, and I found myself alone with our three-year-old daughter during lunch.

As I sat down to eat, an eerie feeling came over me. I felt this strange thought—this is how I’m going to be left soon. My fear grew, but I said nothing.

After the wedding, we returned safely to my in-laws’ home and planned a trip to visit a waterfall. We reached the place late in the evening. The area was dark due to a power outage caused by strong winds and heavy rain.We somehow found the house we had booked, but the property owner advised us to leave since he didn’t have a generator and couldn’t guarantee when the power would return.

The winds were so violent—I called them devil winds. We moved from that location and drove at least another hour through pitch-dark roads. Eventually, we found a small hotel that had one room available. It was barely enough for all of us, especially since we had also brought my nine-year-old nephew.

I was anxious. The darkness, the isolation, and the night itself felt unsettling. In the bedroom my husband placed me, our daughter, and my nephew on the bed and he slept on the floor beside us. My in-laws stayed in a kind of living room outside. The howling of the wind outside was terrifying.

Inside the room, something felt off. My spirit was not at peace. I felt a strange sensation—as if someone was lifting the bed I was lying on. I checked on my husband; he looked at me and asked if everything was okay. I told him what I felt. He reassured me it was nothing and told me to sleep.

But I couldn’t. The presence in the room felt unnatural, unfamiliar—like a stranger among us. I reached for my Bible, said a simple prayer, and placed it under my pillow. Somehow, I managed to sleep.

The next morning, my husband was eager to reach the falls early, before the crowds arrived. It was a calm morning, and everyone looked happy. But deep inside, I felt an unshakable sadness. I looked at my husband—he was laughing, glowing with happiness—but something in me whispered that something was wrong. I dismissed it as my usual overthinking.

That day and night at the falls, the strange unease followed me. I longed to return home. Eventually, we traveled back to my in-laws’ house and then boarded the sleeper bus to my parents’ place.

On the bus, my daughter and me was resting in one sleeper berth, while my husband was in another across from us. I woke up at one point and saw him sitting up, looking out the window. We were nearing my mom’s house. Still, the heaviness in my heart hadn’t left.

We reached safely. But my husband’s face looked different—subtly off. I asked if he was okay, but he just nodded. He took me in the car to drop me at work. The ride was silent. We didn’t speak. The fear in my soul lingered.

He dropped me off, and something in me paused… he looked at me as if to say goodbye for the last time. That was the last time I saw him as his normal self.

I got home from work alone that night. He usually arrived later, so I sent him a text and laid down. As I closed my eyes, I saw the image of a woman crying—it was so vivid and strange. I rebuked the vision in prayer and drifted into a deep sleep.

Unbeknownst to me, my husband had returned from the store, eaten dinner, and sent a late-night message to his sister on social media. I did not even feel the usual kiss on my forehead that he gives me before going to bed.

The next morning, I saw him struggling to get out of bed. At first, I thought he was joking, but he looked helpless—slipping and trying to rise. I screamed. My mother and our helper rushed in. At that moment, he didn’t seem to recognize me. My daughter sat near his head as he gently patted her, but he couldn’t speak. My three-year-old didn’t understand what was happening—she played beside him like it was just another day.

We called for an ambulance. I left my daughter behind with my mom and rode with my husband. Everything felt surreal—like a terrible dream I was desperate to wake up from. Traffic was heavy, and cars wouldn’t make way for the ambulance. My soul was begging for help. My husband was conscious but unaware of his surroundings, unable to recognize me.

We reached the hospital, at the ER, the staff rushed to help him. I stood outside, peering through a small glass pane. Then I saw something that shattered me—he was vomiting blood. Until then, I thought it was something minor. But seeing that… I broke down.

I clutched my Bible, praying silently, lips moving without sound. A hospital attendant asked me to wait outside. I stood there—alone. No friends. No family. No one to hold me.

That moment taught me what it means to be helpless, hopeless, and alone. I remembered the voice that once warned me: “This is how you’ll be left.” I felt like a madwoman, walking aimlessly, unsure if this was reality.

Eventually, my in-laws arrived, followed by relatives and friends. But even in the crowd, I felt utterly alone. I missed my husband’s strong, comforting voice—the voice I had fallen in love with. Everyone had questions, but I had no strength left to answer them.

I spent the night in the hospital, awake and praying, waiting for a miracle. Finally, a nurse called my name and allowed me to see him.

He looked at me and teared up, seeing me cry.

I touched his hand—he held it tightly and placed it on his chest, tears silently rolling down his cheeks.

I told him I loved him, and that he would be fine. I whispered in his ear to pray and ask God for help. As I stood beside him, his vitals began to shift again. Alarms rang, nurses rushed in, and I was once again asked to step outside.

That was the last time I saw him conscious.

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Christ, Uncategorized

Romans Eight

My first ever write up, I penned this when I was lying on my bed weeping and crying and wailing thinking about the loss of my late husband. In middle of that cry for comfort, I felt like these words popped out and kept running before my eyes, I grabbed my phone and started to pen down my pain. The Holy Spirit was comforting me as I was writing this and this assurance was straight from the heart of God and after 12 years of the loss I can today testify that Jesus is Faithful and He keeps His promises. Glory to God for His unwavering Love and mercies.

My few promises that spoke to me in Romans 8

Every thing will work out for my good:

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭28‬ ‭ESV‬‬

He will glory the ones God has called:

“And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭30‬ ‭ESV‬‬

No one can separate us from Gods Love:

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭35‬ ‭ESV

We are more than conquerors:

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭37‬-‭39‬ ‭ESV‬‬

From the heart of God

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Uncategorized

Saga of Pain


Life started to accept friends.

Gatherings were always during weekends;

Fun and worldly behavior appends.

Friends sounded and looked like family.

Time I spent very lavishly;

With new friends, connections grew rapidly.

I believed in their friendship, totally.

Words out of flesh were mere flattery.

I expressed my love within my capacity.

Then came a storm from someone else’s fault—

To cover it up, another issue was brought.

Relationships gave me no rest.

The role of manipulation was at its best;

One trusted soul tried to keep me oppressed.

The true colors of individuals left me surprised;

Sharp words came, in love’s form disguised.

Truth was kept captive;

Two-faced people—I called them deceptive.

The irony is, this drama was called possessive;

Their actions to damage friendships were aggressive.

I cried and tried to fix the damage;

People I found so hard to manage.

In them, I found so much grudge;

Heartache and rejection came as a package.

All of this gave me a message:

That friendship is a privilege.

Trust does not need explanation.

Love does not cause division.

So I made a decision—

To Christ, I made a petition.

I brought the situation into His submission.

Past trauma pushed me to pursue peace;

I wished and prayed for all this to cease.

So I took a pause

and stayed away from internal wars;

I comforted myself: this too shall pass.

My life took a turn to revisit my purpose.

I decided to stay away from the circus.

I turned my pain into worship.

I believe all of this will be taken in God’s courtship.

My desire increases for heaven’s citizenship.

I cannot avoid gossip,

But at least I will be careful in choosing friendship.

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Uncategorized

Lovebound

Once I lived a life in aversion.

Deep pain was my portion;

Hurt was in my emotion.

Losing was my fear.

I had no one to share—

Why do even people care?

Life felt meaningless;

Having someone in life was pointless.

I had to go through rejection

And was scared to make any connection.

Running away from the crowd was my choice;

To be alone, I felt nice—

Anxiety was the price.

Uninvited came panic attack.

Enough, I cried, yet came in spiritual attack.

I wished for a break;

Nevertheless, my soul was broke.

With episodes of mental breakdown,

My life then was upside down.

Many times I had a thought to kill myself;

Someone waited to swallow my life in a gulp.

Once again stepped in my Savior—

Changed my sufferings of my prior.

In His perfect love, He cast out my fear;

I started to feel that the joy is near.

Then began my emotional healing;

Jesus Christ—my heart never stopped calling.

In His presence I found my dwelling.

To be continued…..

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Christ, Uncategorized

Moons, Spells and The Savior

This is the story of a boy born into a royal household. Just three months after his birth, his father passed away. What followed was heartbreak: the boy and his mother were abandoned by the family. His sister was taken away by relatives, while he and his mother were left to fend for themselves—battling for survival and entangled in property and legal disputes with powerful and wealthy giants.

As he grew up, the boy began working in shoe factories. Amidst the toil, he fell in love with an aspiring medical student still in her teenage years. As he transitioned from boy to man, he married this young woman in his early twenties. She gave up her education to be with him. Together, they built a family, raising five children. They poured all their love into their kids, and the man worked tirelessly—sweating and bleeding—to provide them the luxury he had once lost.

But over time, things changed. His focus shifted from his family to building and expanding his business. Love took a back seat, while wealth and pride took the driver’s seat.

As love lost its grip in the household, jealousy crept in among his business rivals. One of them, consumed by envy, plotted against him using witchcraft and spells.

Let me pause here to say—this is not just any story. This is my family’s story. That boy is my father, and the young woman he married is my mother. The five children they raised? I’m one of them.

The torment of evil spirits became so tangible in our home that we could barely enjoy the blessings in our lives. Life grew more traumatizing with each passing day—for us as a family.

Quarrels were constant, but that wasn’t the worst. Every full moon, new moon, strange things would happen. We began to suspect witchcraft: lemons and sorcery idols would appear mysteriously outside our factory gate, signaling that spells were being cast on us. On those nights, my father would become a completely different person, and the house would spiral into chaos. At least one person would end up with a bloody injury. Someone would try to harm themselves. There would be fights, broken bones, and terrifying emotional breakdowns. We were so scared that we started marking the full and new moon days on the calendar just to brace ourselves.

I remember the day my mom was nearly crushed between a wall and a minivan. My sister miraculously survived a near-death encounter with an oncoming train. Another time, while riding in our family car, the windshield suddenly shattered into tiny shards right in front of my eyes. And once, all five of us kids were admitted to the hospital at the same time. Every other day felt like death was knocking at our door.

Despite it all, my mom never gave up. With the little knowledge she had about Christ, she began seeking the Lord. Evangelism was only just beginning to gain momentum in our area, but there was one minister who preached and prayed every morning at 7 a.m. on a secular TV channel.

That was my dad’s newspaper-reading time. He would flip through channels looking for the news, but one morning, he accidentally landed on this channel just as the minister greeted viewers. His voice was calm and gentle—it caught my dad’s attention. Soon, he began listening to the message about the cross and the power of the blood of Jesus Christ.

Day one turned into day three, and eventually, my dad couldn’t go a day without hearing this man of God.

Mornings were the busiest times in our house. My mom would be preparing breakfast and lunch, serving tea, and managing five children. Still, somehow, the Holy Spirit found a way to reach her heart. Her time listening to the preacher grew from a few seconds to a full 30 minutes. As we moved through the house, grabbing our food or walking to the kitchen, we caught glimpses of the message.

Personally, the first thing I learned from those moments was that God is gentle—just like the minister’s voice.

My mom began walking around the house, praying and listening to the message without interruption. Everyone in our family—even our dog—knew not to disturb her during that sacred time. She grew stronger from the Word of God.

But as her faith grew, so did the chaos in our home. My father began yelling at her, blaming her prayers for the increased disorder. He tried to stop her from watching the program, but he failed. She would do nothing else in the house until she had her 30 minutes with God.

Then the truth of Scripture was revealed:

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it more abundantly.” —John 10:10

That revelation became our anchor.

One of my siblings soon joined my mother in seeking Christ. My father became furious, accusing her of shaming our family values. But my sister stood firm. She boldly declared her faith, found a church that preached the Word, and my mom even traveled far from home to get baptized. That night was hell at home.

But my mother and sister didn’t waver. They fasted and prayed for the entire family. I remember waking up at night to hear my mother whispering each of our names in prayer.

That’s when the tide began to turn. The enemy’s foundation started to shake. Christ became our stronghold. I watched my mom cover us all under the wings of the Almighty. The power of the blood of Jesus became our defense. My mother claimed the promise:

“There is no enchantment against Jacob, no divination against Israel.” —Numbers 23:23

And today—I can testify: the power of witchcraft was broken by the blood of Jesus Christ. Slowly, we began to walk in freedom. The darkness lifted. The light of the everlasting God took over our home.

We no longer suffered bloody encounters. The suicidal thoughts stopped. My father returned to normal—even on the full and new moon days we used to dread. Eventually, we stopped keeping track of those days altogether.

So if you’re reading this, I want to encourage you: Nothing is too hard for the Lord. No matter how bad your situation is or how dark it looks, Jesus Christ can set you free from every work of the enemy. If He did it for our family, He can do it for yours too.

Try Jesus. He is good. He is the Light, and the darkness does not comprehend Him.

“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness but will have the light of life.” —John 8:12

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Uncategorized

My Backpack And Sleeping Pill

During my final year of college, my life began to spiral. I grew up in a home filled with constant conflict—daily arguments, emotional strain, and an atmosphere that never seemed to lift. For me, dysfunction became normal. I couldn’t imagine a happy family because I had never experienced one.

Over time, the weight of it all became too much. I was exhausted from pretending everything was okay. I lost hope that things would ever change, and I believed I was destined for a life of sadness. I looked into the future and saw nothing but darkness. With no peace at home and no one to turn to, I made a painful decision: I would end my life.

Influenced by stories in the media, I planned to take an overdose of sleeping pills. Since I couldn’t buy many from a single pharmacy, I went from shop to shop, gathering enough to ensure I wouldn’t wake up. I hid them in my backpack, thinking I’d quietly leave this world.

That night, I slept peacefully—believing it would be my last. The next morning, I smiled like always. I didn’t want anyone to suspect anything. I got dressed, boarded the bus, and headed to college, thinking it would be my final day. On the outside, nothing seemed unusual. Inside, I was falling apart.

Throughout the morning, I battled with mixed emotions—part of me wanted to escape the pain, but another part of me longed for something better. I kept checking the time, waiting for break. I opened my backpack repeatedly to make sure the pills were still there.

Then, something unexpected happened.

A group of students entered our classroom and announced a sudden protest. We were told to leave our bags and gather outside. Reluctantly, I left my backpack behind. After several hours of discussion between the student leaders and the principal, the protest was dismissed. Tired from standing in the sun, we returned to class.

As I walked in, I saw my desk mate holding my backpack. She looked at me—confused and concerned. When I asked what she was doing, she didn’t respond with words. She slapped me, then silently held up the pills.

She hugged me tightly and burst into tears. I was shocked. I had never shared my pain with anyone. I always wore a smile. She had opened my bag looking for a snack, like she usually did, but instead found a cry for help I didn’t know how to express.

That moment changed everything. Someone finally saw me. I was both relieved and ashamed. I had to go back to the same broken home, but something inside had shifted.

Things at home got even worse—my father left us for a time. I was struggling to pass my final subject, and it felt like the last straw. On the day of the exam, I had a 102°F fever. I gave it my best but walked out unsure if I’d passed.

As I waited for results, something unexpected arrived—a Christian magazine addressed to me. Inside was a verse: “I will show you wonders.” I don’t know who sent it or how it came, but it felt like God Himself was speaking directly to me.

When the results came, I had passed. Against all odds, I made it. That verse wasn’t just a coincidence—it was a promise. That was the beginning of my journey of faith. Jesus met me in my darkest moment and gave me a new beginning. Just as He promised, I am blessed today by the wonder-working power of Jesus Christ.

Today, I’m not the girl with a backpack full of pills. I’m a woman with a heart full of gratitude and a life filled with purpose. Jesus saved me, and He continues to guide me.

If you’re in the dark, there is hope. Try Jesus. He is good.

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Uncategorized

The repairer of the walls

“In that day I will restore the fallen house of David. I will repair its damaged walls. From the ruins, I will rebuild it and restore its former glory.”

— Amos 9:11 (NLT)

On this Good Friday, the death of Jesus Christ is remembered across every corner of the world. His death represents the end of life, the end of hope, the end of expectations, and the end of dreams. Yet, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, went to the very end to give us a new beginning and a new meaning to life.

As said in Amos 9:11, “In that day…” Which day? Today.

Our Lord gave an end to the end—to offer a new beginning in our lives. He is eager to restore the fallen house and repair the damage within its walls. From those ruins, He will rebuild your house, your life, your hope, your dreams, your health—not just rebuild, but also restore your lost glory, all for His glory.

All you have to do is believe in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ and in the finished work He accomplished on the cross. When Jesus willfully gave up His spirit, He said, “It is finished!”

Yes, it is finished—stand firm and witness the restoration that is about to unfold in your life.

God bless you all!

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